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Scribblings in the Dark

Kevyn Jacobs
23 March 1968
My personality type: the analytical thinker

=== Some Haikus ==

I'm tired of living
Don't want to try anymore
Just waiting to die.

I really don't care
Now I'm just waiting to die
Please leave me alone

The Rage Beast returns.
It consumes my on-line world.
Bridges have been burnt.

I won my case
With Social Security.
I'm a kept man, now.

My computer died
I am sad, lost, and mourning
A repair bill looms

New year, New Decade,
Fresh Start, New Beginning.
I'm smoking again.

Quitting smoking was,
Without a doubt, very hard.
The money saved helped.

Moving forward now.
What helps me function again?
New meds and Springtime!

The World holds its breath
Eight years of Hell now over
What will he do first?

That which I create
Belongs to all of mankind.
My image... is mine.

I'm superfluous
More free time than I can fill
Jobless, broke, and bored

For twenty-two years
And a butt-load of money:
A piece of paper.

At the finish line
Graduation upon me
Do I want to work?

A Captain who could
Catch my wild wind in his sails
Is what Santa brought!

I broke up with him
when I grew tired of buying
so much lice shampoo.

I'm caught in a trap,
If I work, no insurance,
If I don't work, poor.

Diplomacy skills
As tactful as a Mack truck
Fuck it! Let's get high.

Oh shit, I'm falling
The darkness is returning
Throw me a lifeline

The New Atheists
Have been shaping my thinking
Am I Agnostic?

School is going well
I'm feeling optomistic
About the future

Boyfriend has left me
It's tearing me up inside
Will I love again?

Industrial scale
Tells me how much I weigh now
Four-hundred twelve pounds

The debt has been paid
Internet reconnected
I am back online

I'm disconnected
With no internet access
I'm reading more books

Letting go of everything
Just waiting to die

I'm self-destructive
Passively, nonchalantly
The future? Who cares?

Mood swings, up and down
Today I'm up and happy
Tomorrow depressed

A week-long lover
From my past he came to me
And then he dumped me

A used computer
Mac purchased from a Pawn Shop
Now I will not eat

Let me see your eyes
Depression shows in your eyes
Teri can read mine

Matrix around me
Out the corner of my eye
It's Reality?

The old pain, still there
It aches after all these years
I feel it inside

The Hermit wakes up
From His long winter slumber
Bears emerge in spring

Kevyn's Live Journal
The entries are all empty
Very, very odd.